5 Steps to Forgiving (Event When You Don't Feel Like It)
We all know that forgiveness is a good thing, but...
What if we don't FEEL like it?
What if the hurt is so bad it makes you want to vommit just thinking about it.
What if the other person was so wrong there's no way you can let that go.
What if you have forgiven many times and it's just not working?
Thank God there's a way to still do it even if we don't FEEL like it. ^_^
God is greater than our feelings.
God will meet you where you're at with your feelings.
5 Steps to Forgiving (even when you don't FEEL like it)
Step 1: Ask God "Who do I need to forgive right now?"
- Write down person or names that comes up for you.
- Then address one at a time with Steps 2-5.
Step 2: What do I need to forgive [INSERT NAME] for?
- Write down everything that comes to mind.
- Ask God "Anything else?" Keep digging for more 3-4x if you can. Take your time.
- Sometimes, it can be pages long. Let it ALL out. This is part of the healing.
- Once you bring it out into the open (say it outloud or write it down), it immediately weakens. If in doubt, write it down or say it out loud.
- It's ok if it's pages long. Let the flood gates open. Every detail. Every incident. Every memory that comes up. Lean into it. Keep milking it.
- The goal is to get every ounce of it out of your head. It's great!
Step 3: Pray to Forgive and hand it over to God
- "In Jesus name, by FAITH I forgive ____ for __, __, __ (everything you listed in Step 2)."
- "I forgive them for making me feel ___, ___, ___, etc." (list everything that comes to mind. Every ounce of hurt or feeling. Milk it all out of your head. Get it into the open. It will feel great.)
- "In Jesus name I BREAK agreement with the spirit of bitterness, resentment, anger, frustration, revenge, hurt, sorrow, loneliness, sadness, despair, fear and rage." (etc, insert anything else that comes to mind. Release all of it).
- "In Jesus name I hand all of these over to you."
- Then step into gratitude and thank Jesus for taking your burdens.
"Thank You Jesus for taking these burdens.
Thank You Jesus for releasing me and setting me free.
I cleanse my heart, spirit and body with the blood of Jesus Christ.
Thank You Jesus for your freedom
Thank You Jesus for your love and kindness.
Thank you Jesus, thank you."
Step 4: Identify the Lies
- There are assumptions and lies that the enemy tricks us into believing in every situation.
- Identifying these lies and rejecting them also helps get it out of your system.
- You are dismantling the lies that have housed the pain for so long.
- This is like taking a wrecking ball to lies that is only a house of cards and crushing it for a victorious win.
- Ask "God, what are the lies I'm believing around this situation?"
- Listen and write it down.
- Ask "Anything else? Can you make that clear?" (Rinse & repeat as many times as needed)
- "In Jesus name, I reject and break agreement with the lie that ____, ____, ____." (List all the lies you just identified).
- "Jesus, I hand you over these lies and remove the burdens from my shoulders. I surrender all of it to you in Jesus name."
- "In Jesus name, I wash myself cut myself free these lies with the blood of Jesus Christ and cleanse my heart, mind and body to be white as snow in Jesus name.
- Then step into gratitude and thank Jesus for this freedom.
- "Thank You Jesus for this freedom.
Thank You Jesus for your strength.
Thank You Jesus for your sacrifice and your love.
Thank You, Jesus. Thank You. Thank You."
Step 5: Exchange for Truth
- Now that you emptied out all the lies, there is room in your heart.
- Nothing stays empty for long so fill it with God's truth.
- Simply ask for it.
- "Jesus, what truth do you have for me in exchange?"
- Write it down.
- Keep asking "Anything else? Can you make that clear?" Ask at least 3-4x. Rinse and repeat as many times as you need until you get nothing else.
- Accept the truths into your heart.
- "Jesus, I accept the truths that ___, ___, ___, etc" (List all the truths you received)
- "By faith, in Jesus name, I accept them into my heart.
I thank You for these truths. I fill my hear with your love, joy, kindness and gentleness.
I seal these truths into my heart with the blood of Jesus Christ."
- Then step into gratitude and thank Jesus for these gifts.
"Thank You Jesus. Thank You. Thank You Jesus. Thank You."
Rinse & Repeat Steps 1-5
"God who do I need to forgive right now?"...
NOTES: Don't be surprised if some deeper issues may take 30-45 minutes per person you forgive. I just did this for myself around an issue and after 1 hour I am not done yet. Yes, I had a lot of junk I didn't even realize. God is good and gentle. He will meet you where you're at.
This process feels SOOOO good. My heart feels lighter. Burdens are lifted off.
The truth is, one prayer session doesn't always heal deep wounds in one sitting.
Forgiveness can be a layered process.
Don't be surprised if God prompts you to forgive more about the same person later.
It's ok. That's normal.
Some of this unforgiveness is years or decades old. It will take some time to dig it all out.
But every time you do, it feels GREAT!
Lean into it.
Be brave.
Just do it.
It's a mini by MIGHTY step for your heart and healing.
The PRACTICAL Application:
It's scientifically proven that these toxic thoughts of unforgiveness create BRAIN damage inside of you.
It also intoxicates your BODY chemistry and hormones and prevent it from healing like it should.
It's a real HEALTH issue to hold onto bitterness and unforgiveness.
For your own HEALTH you must, forgive, forgive, forgive.
Ask God to give you the strength and just do it.... by faith.
That's all you need.
If you can get SAVED from sin and death by faith, you can forgive by faith.
Forgiveness is in your best interest.
A survival technique in the least.
"Enlightened Self Interest" if you will. ^_^
Most importantly, remember God's word...
"And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses."
Get rid of the burden.
Feel lighter.
Feel happier.
Be healthier.
Break free from the bondage of unforgiveness.
Choose freedom.
You can do it!
Just say the words...
"By faith, I forgive ____ in Jesus name."
"Father God, give me the strength to forgive and release all of it to You."
Cheers to your freedom and healing!!
